Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Take the blanket.

After we all finished saying, “Amen” I did the first thing every good mormon boy does after a fireside…and scanned the audience for cute girls. Scanning in front-check. Scanned to the sides-double check. Scanning behind-Holy COW! That girl is gorgeous! I saw what I’d been scanning for. Then I realized the sad but very real truth, she was overdressed. No, she was WAY overdressed for a fireside, her cloths were just way too nice. “Oh overdresser,” I muttered.

Then I did the second thing that that every good Mormon boy does after a fireside, I went to eat the post-fireside brownies. So as I’m eating some brownies with the boys my friend Jill, who was in a girl group, saw me and called me over. So I did the third thing that every good mormon boy should do after a fireside, go to the girl group. Jill then introduces me to all of the girls in her girl group one of whom was of course the “overdresser.”

An hour after the fireside I got a text from my friend Jill saying she wanted to set me up with the “overdresser” turns out her real name was Ashley. Anywho..having been taught in my youth never to say no to being set up with a very attractive girl I of course said yes. However, I’m not gonna lie, I had pretty low expectations. Being an overdresser, I figured she was high maintenance and let’s face it, no guy is a big fan of that. I showed up to pick her up..she’s not ready. But something happened that night with me and the overdresser, we totally hit it off. Turns out I’m a horrible judge of character, and she was really down to earth.

Around midnight we got back to her house to hang out a little more, everything was going great.* We go in and we’re sitting right next to each other on this huge couch, no gap between us, “A good sign,” I say to myself. Then she looks over at me for about half a second does a semi raise of the eyebrows and walks to the closet bringing back a blanket. She sits right back down next to me, no gap, and says, “Do you want some blanket?” Me, “No, I’m okay.” She sort of gives me the taken back look. About 40 minutes later we said our goodbyes and I went home.

The next day I did what all boys do and consulted my #1 wingman Taylor. “Taylor, what does it mean if a girl offers you blanket?” Response, “Well, it means she either wants to cuddle with you or maybe hold hands. Either way it’s a great sign.” Me, “Ohhhhhhh……hmmmmm.” Taylor, “Why did that happen to you?” Me, “yeah last night.” Taylor, “With Ashley?!!” Me, “Yup…” Taylor, “And..!” Me, “I told her no. I wasn’t cold!!!” Taylor, “You blew it!!! She put herself out there and then you totally rejected her! You idiot!” Me, “Freak I blew it!” “yeah you did yeah you did jones you totally blew it. I don't care if you're sweating, you take the blanket!!!!”

Even if you're sweating, take the blanket.

1 comment:

  1. Dan, you are so funny! Why aren't there more comments on this post!